Sunday, May 10, 2009
Those of us who write, which now is the world thanks to the Internet, believe we have book inside of us the Earth's inhabitants would bow before to worship for its enlightenment.
I couldn't tell you what would make a good book today. Some folks even asked me to write a book about my life experiences of losing my health, career, my mother and other things we try and assemble around ourselves for protection and security. But I would always remind them, my story is not over yet.
I never believed my leukemia would be over. The only lesson God wanted me to learn was to appreciate the moments of extra living he gave me, along with the intercession of Our Lady of Guadalupe and the 24/7 dedication of my heroic wife. She fought everyone from insurance companies to doctors for me. But I forgot too much of her heroics, which is to my great shame.
With my leukemia back, the moments become more precious. What book would one write at this stage of such a story? What should the world know? What feelings should rise to the surface to make the reader remember the moral?
One of the tasks I'm trying to complete is asking forgiveness from many people I have hurt in the past nine months in particular. Just like tellling people "I love you, offering a balm from an unnnecessary hurt is very important. And there are friends in Oklahoma I treated most badly.
Where my life goes from here, I do not know. There won't be a book. That I know for sure.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
I have not be blogging lately because of a drastic turn in my health that has returned leukemia to my body. The first obstacle in trying to free the body is seven straight days of killer chemo, which takes out the good and cancer cells at the same time.
Unforunately, it must be done in the hospital for 30 straight days. For once they take you down physically, they have to build you back up.
There were so many events I was looking forward to due in May, particularly THe Mother of the Year celebration at the Tennnessee Family Justice Center. Call Michelle Johnson there. You won't find dry eye in the house. I will terribly miss not working with the children at the Smithson Craighead Academy. Those young people from the most deprived areas of Nashville are brilliant. They just needed truly committed educators to show them and understand the hurts from their lives -- and to serve those needs ahead of school district bureaucracy.
I wish there was some great moral to all these stories, for the mother with two preemie twins trying to raise them the best she can while fighting the Tne TennnCare bureaucracy to children just wanting to be farily educated for lottery scholarships and professional careers to a beaten down journalist re-enterting the leukemia fight after trying to do more good than bad.
Sometimes, it a real fine line. And stretched across a hospital bed for a month or longer gives you a long time think
Ulimately, Life is just life. It's having God with you in the good and bad times and always being appreciative for every good day you have and everyone you can tell you love and always being grateful when God has gotten you through a bad day and all its fears.
AS Father Joe Pat Breen always says, be your best -- for God and yourself.
My prayers are for all of you for your personal hardships, particularly in this economy. But remember, if you have your health and those of your children, you really still have it all.