Thursday, February 12, 2009

Valentine's Day: The myth versus the hard reality

So ardently sought, true love may actually be a myth, a cruel one dangled before the romantically pure of heart.

But from my experience, most recently, true love is not a healthy concept for people to pursue.

Soon after signing a piece of paper, I will be single for the first time in 16 years, and the thought frightens me. All divorces have two sides. Mine does, too. But I was very devoted to my marriage, so it was hard to be the one to file for divorce.

Since then, I have been a student of the concept of love, and how it goes wrong and how it results in a marriage of more than 50 years. My parents were married for 55 years.

I always believed in true love from the first time I can remember. I always wanted to marry a Catholic girl and go to church every Sunday with our babies. I am a momma's boy, so I would also offer her the utmost respect in listening first before speaking besides sharing decisionmaking.

Most of all, I would spend money on her. I hate spending on myself. I see no virtue in spending on oneself. For the woman I love, no amount would be too much.

The brand of religion soon became non-mandatory in my search, just that the person believed and could share God and our diverse experiences in our union. God's grace is irreplaceable.

But I discovered that the female world did not really want that. Someone who drove a faster car and had a little dark side to him was preferred. Women love a little bit of mystery. I was too much of an open book, and I guess a boring one at that.

My fight with leukemia since Dec. 2005 has taught me so much about happiness and the things to treasure. I am a people person as my mother. So my philanthropy is an extension of that. I love conversation and making people laugh, particularly children such as Hunter.

I like being silly on ocassion, even if my writing does not reflect such a carefree spirit.

But I believe God directs us to new areas of life to develop us into better people. And so I pray to him and in the Rosary that I learn to love being alone. And to offer my love to Him first and Our Lady of Guadalupe before anyone else.

In this way, my heart will no longer be at risk to being so utterly broken again. God is always faithful, and His wisdom is so marvelous.

So to those of you who have true love, always thank God each day for this marvelous gift.

If you are looking for it, be attuned to the reality of things in today's world and its bent expectations.

True love on Valentine's Day and every one after is a mirage to better avoid than pursue.

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