Saturday, December 6, 2008

Dear Political Mijo: What is a hypoallergenic dog?

(Publisher's note: The following regular feature is written by a cat named Mijo, which in Spanish means "dear one". He is fiercely independent, in his lifestyle and politics. He is also a critic of President-elect Barack Obama and his agenda of change that does not include bringing a cat to the White House in favor of another damn dog.)

Dear Political Mijo,
I heard on the news the other day that President-elect Obama wants a puppy in the White House that is not hypoallergenic and a girlie dog? How do you interpret this policy decision?

Scratching my head and backside in Brooklyn

Dear Itchy,
Sorry about your flea problem. Try jumping into the East River.
As for hypoallergenic, the new president wants an animal that doesn't have a lot of fur that will get his family sniffling and sneezing all over the Lincoln Bedroom. So he is going to need something hairless, like a Chihuahua or some other damn-near- bald breed of canine. Perhaps someone could breed a mix between a Shih-Tzu and Dr. Phil.
As far as a girlie dog, I guess Obama may be going Michael Vick on us. Big dogs make big messes. If there has to be a dog in the White House, I'd go as small as possible. That way, all the puddles in the Oval Office won't be as noticeable.

All my best(not really)

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